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Rewind June of 2010, I were just a freshman who’s afraid and hesitant to talk to new people. I was supposed to be in the group of political science but impulsively asked the guidance counselor to change my course to psychology. Groping to whatever college will offer to my innocent self until finally got introduced and enlightened that psychology is not about reading minds. As time went by, I eventually found comfort in everyone’s company; lost and found new individuals that I know I’ll keep until my very last breath. Maturing and conquering every challenge. Adventures, hardships, procrastination. Indeed college life is like a jungle and I’m very proud to say that I made my way out alive. 

Now, I’m waving hello to reality. To chasing dreams. To eternal summer. To change. Adieu college. Adieu student life, adieu. But one thing’s for sure… learning doesn’t stop here.

Some of the photos are not mine. Credits to my blockmates.

Posted: April 02, 2014 with 8 notes
Under: tangled words, psychlife, friends, photo, personal,

We are having a late dinner, my father, brother and I while mom decided to doze off early because of exhaustion from that day’s work. It was a peaceful scenario at the dining table — asking how’s everyone’s day and whereabouts, etc is. Until suddenly, my father stood up from his chair and went inside the room to nebulize. My brother and I are calm and all since this happened often and we know that after some inhaling of air from the nebulizer, Pop will be better. Unfortunately, that night was different. After a minute of nebulizing, Pop called our attention and said that he needs to be rushed to the hospital. Everyone panicked. Even mom who’s asleep by then, shrieked and got out of bed, shocked. I and my brother went out to call for help and thank heavens, one of our neighbor quickly responded. The next vivid memory was of my father gasping for air real hard and my mother and our neighbor carrying him inside the van. I was left home to accompany my brother. We are crying so hard because we don’t know what will happen. Everything’s intense.

I asked prayers from everyone I knew and of course, I myself prayed real hard too. My whole body has been eaten by anxiety. It felt like, I too, will be attacked by hyperventilation. But thank God, I wasn’t.

When I was scrolling endlessly on facebook, I hovered on someone’s boyfriend’s account and through his cover photo, God spoke to me.

“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” -Exodus 14:14

And before that happened, I was reminded that He is in control, I shall not worry.  So I prayed. I said I lift my Pop’s condition to Him and I know that He will not let something bad happen to him. I relaxed and eased off all anxiety in me.

What happened next was very touching.

We didn’t get a news from the hospital (because mom left her phone at home) until the driver and owner of the van came knocking at our door saying that Pop survived. A deep sigh of relief came out from both my brother and I. As to me, I cried and thank God for being faithful to His words. When my mom went home that night, she said that we almost lost him. He’s in 50/50 condition. Imagine my heart leaping with joy and gratitude for the Lord when He didn’t let my father go.

Indeed, His words are very powerful. You need only to trust Him and not worry. Out of all the words I know, His are the ones I always hold on too for I know He will never fail me and that event proved me everything.

So beloved, I encourage you to trust in Him and His words too for it will never falter.

Because the power of His words is the key to everything.

HIS WORD IS A BED TO REST UPON.
HIS WORD IS A SURE FOUNDATION.
BREAD TO THE HUNGRY.
COMFORT TO THE LONELY.
HOPE TO THE HOPELESS.
REST TO THE WEARY.
EVEN THOUGH THE WINDS OF PERSECUTION HAVE BLOWN AGAINST IT,

IT STILL REMAINS. ♥

Posted: October 14, 2013 with 3 notes
Under: God, family, personal,

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Last weekend, the family drove to Cavite for my uncle and cousin’s birthday. It was a great opportunity for me to unwind since the past week has been a topsy turvy one.  

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Spent the whole time reading and soul-searching. It was a relaxing trip indeed. Nothing to worry about someone whom you once love (It was an achievement to use the word “once” and finally, I can call him this letter… “x”), that girl and her abundant guts, reasons of him leaving, reasons of them doing whatever they are doing. All of those toxic wastes has been laid out of my body. 

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Also because of this trip, I realize a lot about me and my priorities. Sorted everything out and convinced myself to focus. Focus on how I will have flying colors when I graduate, focus on my remaining year in college, focus on finding a decent job and focus on making my family — especially my parents — happy and doing them all of the favors in this world as a payment for their hard work. 

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So now, I couldn’t care less of everything he might do or they might do. I already know what I should prioritize. Life is too beautiful to dwell on things and people who chose to be out of your life. I will just keep on trusting Him because He’s the only one whom I know will never ever leave me and I know He will shower me more with amazing people who’ll help me grow and will support me inspite of all my shortcomings.

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Here’s to new beginnings and to the new me! :)

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For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” -Jeremiah 29:11

Posted: May 01, 2013 with 3 notes
Under: daily, family, photo, personal, God,

Decent and modest walk, laughing with hands covering the mouth, sitting with legs crossed, no kid-like mannerisms, not mosquito larvae like when bored. Those are the characteristics of a matured woman. A legal and matured woman which is contrary to her characteristics. She’s fond of babbling a lot when bored, chatter excitedly when she has nothing to do, sitting with her legs also in the chair, baby talking, kiddy-like mannerisms, dancing like crazy in public. She got all of the worst things a woman shouldn’t have. She is lacking of what others called, maturity.

Maturity, how to achieve that thing? Can it be achieved overnight? In a minute? In a second? In a week? When? How? The countless questions are bugging her. Everyone is comparing her to other girls. Girls who’s more matured and can handle themselves and every move with chastity. Can act in their most decent ways.

Why others can’t accept the fact that it’s her? That, it’s really her. That it is her personality. That she didn’t like boring things. That she get bored easily. That she don’t want dull moments. Why they can’t accept that?

But in fact, she’s trying. She is trying to fit in. She is trying to absorb what others tell her to do. She is trying to act just like her age. She is trying cope in the world as it gradually change.

Maturity cannot be achieved in an hour or so, neither in a month or year. It is by process. People should understand it, really.

Once, there was this girl who used to join singing contests and used to sing in front of many people. 1, 2, 3 contests in school. She always go for the sake of grades and for extra curricular activities. Until one time, a very humiliating event happened. It was their school intramural and she’s the one that’s chosen to represent their team in a singing contest. She wasn’t confident about it but just for her not to fail the whole team, she did join. The day of the contest came and she is totally nervous about it. Her mentor asked her if everything is okay and she said yes. She reached the stage, looked at the audience and suddenly an unease feeling haunted her. The music played. She started singing. She forgot the lyrics. She went on with her performance until she remembered the lyrics again and ‘til again, forgot them. She looked in everyone’s eyes, knowing that they’re disappointed at her. She felt a hundred times humiliation. She hated it. She stopped singing. Until an opportunity bid hello again. It was her former classmate and now boyfriend that she’ll be with. The performance went a-okay because her boyfriend really nailed it while she just stand there. She did sang but felt to herself that it wasn’t enough.

Now, after three years, this girl pulled up again with the courage and accepted the once nightmare stuff for her — which is singing. It was March 9, 2012. In their final exam for their subject Art Appreciation. After three years, she did sang again in front of the crowd. What she found amusing that day was that she haven’t felt any nervousness and the “I-can’t-make-it” feeling. She put her best, felt the stage, the light, everything. After her performance, she believe she did great and she’s contented to what she did. She felt proud because she made it. She received good comments about it.

But the day after her performance.. there’s these people who keeps of making fun of her accent. "A simple complication, miscommunication.~" and the way she moved through the whole performance. Until now, those people just can’t get rid of it. SHE HATE IT A LOT. SHE WANTS THEM TO KNOW THAT “HEY! THAT CAN’T HELP.” She is losing again her self-confidence.

Sometimes, I just want to slap people in the face and just say you’re not helping. If they only knew that it took a lot of confidence and courage for me to step to that stage and perform.

Do they even know what I gone through? Wow, I’m starting to lose faith in humanity.

Once, there was this girl who used to join singing contests and used to sing in front of many people. 1, 2, 3 contests in school. She always go for the sake of grades and for extra curricular activities. Until one time, a very humiliating event happened. It was their school intramural and she’s the one that’s chosen to represent their team in a singing contest. She wasn’t confident about it but just for her not to fail the whole team, she did join. The day of the contest came and she is totally nervous about it. Her mentor asked her if everything is okay and she said yes. She reached the stage, looked at the audience and suddenly an unease feeling haunted her. The music played. She started singing. She forgot the lyrics. She went on with her performance until she remembered the lyrics again and ‘til again, forgot them. She looked in everyone’s eyes, knowing that they’re disappointed at her. She felt a hundred times humiliation. She hated it. She stopped singing. Until an opportunity bid hello again. It was her former classmate and now boyfriend that she’ll be with. The performance went a-okay because her boyfriend really nailed it while she just stand there. She did sang but felt to herself that it wasn’t enough.
Now, after three years, this girl pulled up again with the courage and accepted the once nightmare stuff for her — which is singing. It was March 9, 2012. In their final exam for their subject Art Appreciation. After three years, she did sang again in front of the crowd. What she found amusing that day was that she haven’t felt any nervousness and the “I-can’t-make-it” feeling. She put her best, felt the stage, the light, everything. After her performance, she believe she did great and she’s contented to what she did. She felt proud because she made it. She received good comments about it.
But the day after her performance.. there’s these people who keeps of making fun of her accent. "A simple complication, miscommunication.~" and the way she moved through the whole performance. Until now, those people just can’t get rid of it. SHE HATE IT A LOT. SHE WANTS THEM TO KNOW THAT “HEY! THAT CAN’T HELP.” She is losing again her self-confidence.
Sometimes, I just want to slap people in the face and just say you’re not helping. If they only knew that it took a lot of confidence and courage for me to step to that stage and perform.
Do they even know what I gone through? Wow, I’m starting to lose faith in humanity.

Once, there was this girl who used to join singing contests and used to sing in front of many people. 1, 2, 3 contests in school. She always go for the sake of grades and for extra curricular activities. Until one time, a very humiliating event happened. It was their school intramural and she’s the one that’s chosen to represent their team in a singing contest. She wasn’t confident about it but just for her not to fail the whole team, she did join. The day of the contest came and she is totally nervous about it. Her mentor asked her if everything is okay and she said yes. She reached the stage, looked at the audience and suddenly an unease feeling haunted her. The music played. She started singing. She forgot the lyrics. She went on with her performance until she remembered the lyrics again and ‘til again, forgot them. She looked in everyone’s eyes, knowing that they’re disappointed at her. She felt a hundred times humiliation. She hated it. She stopped singing. Until an opportunity bid hello again. It was her former classmate and now boyfriend that she’ll be with. The performance went a-okay because her boyfriend really nailed it while she just stand there. She did sang but felt to herself that it wasn’t enough.

Now, after three years, this girl pulled up again with the courage and accepted the once nightmare stuff for her — which is singing. It was March 9, 2012. In their final exam for their subject Art Appreciation. After three years, she did sang again in front of the crowd. What she found amusing that day was that she haven’t felt any nervousness and the “I-can’t-make-it” feeling. She put her best, felt the stage, the light, everything. After her performance, she believe she did great and she’s contented to what she did. She felt proud because she made it. She received good comments about it.

But the day after her performance.. there’s these people who keeps of making fun of her accent. "A simple complication, miscommunication.~" and the way she moved through the whole performance. Until now, those people just can’t get rid of it. SHE HATE IT A LOT. SHE WANTS THEM TO KNOW THAT “HEY! THAT CAN’T HELP.” She is losing again her self-confidence.

Sometimes, I just want to slap people in the face and just say you’re not helping. If they only knew that it took a lot of confidence and courage for me to step to that stage and perform.

Do they even know what I gone through? Wow, I’m starting to lose faith in humanity.

Posted: March 18, 2012 with 4 notes
Under: personal, photo, rant,

I accompanied my mom earlier at my auntie’s wedding because papa can’t make it. I then, received lots of "Ay ang dalaga na ang prinsesa ni Pancho! (my Papa’s name)", "Nung huli kitang makita’y bata pa. Suplada ka pa noon." Nothing’s new, anyway. When we’re attending gathering like this with relatives, I expect them to say that to me and still, my expectations never fail me. Lol.

I pretty much got bored because most of them there are oldies (You know, people that are not in my age. Hee.) and I don’t have close cousins in there. So I just took random photos.

The view from the window.

With mum.

And.. here’s the pictures when we’re at the reception.

I do love the flower girls’ outfit with matching flower crowns. Oh, how I love flower crowns. But I just don’t know how to do it. :(

Finally got the chance to capture the bride and the groom. (I’m always on the bad spot, eh? Also, I’m with mom so I wasn’t able to take lots of photos)

Uhm, Hi! :))

The wedding went okay, but It’ll be better if it is more solemn and they didn’t made us — guests — hanging and incredibly hungry because of their wedding program and whatnots. But all in all, It is the love of the couple that made their wedding perfect. ♥

No flashing lights, no sparkling gowns, no 5-star venue, no 18 cakes, no 18 candles, no 18 roses, no guests with formal dresses. Just a beautiful Lord, over-flowing blessings, kisses from grandmas, supportive and sweet family, a loving parents and boyfriend, lots of laugh, and countless smile.
It is proven that celebrating one’s day isn’t about being grand. It’s not about spending lots of money for just a 3-hour celebration. But it’s about being happy and being with the special people in your life. Truly blessed and thankful.
Hi guys! I turned 18 today. :)

No flashing lights, no sparkling gowns, no 5-star venue, no 18 cakes, no 18 candles, no 18 roses, no guests with formal dresses. Just a beautiful Lord, over-flowing blessings, kisses from grandmas, supportive and sweet family, a loving parents and boyfriend, lots of laugh, and countless smile.

It is proven that celebrating one’s day isn’t about being grand. It’s not about spending lots of money for just a 3-hour celebration. But it’s about being happy and being with the special people in your life. Truly blessed and thankful.

Hi guys! I turned 18 today. :)

Posted: March 04, 2012 with 2 notes
Under: photo, debut, legal, 18, birthday, personal, samsung ES65,

I Can Do All Things Through Christ Who Strengthens Me”. Philippians 4:13

"For I know the plans I have for you, declared the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

"We must go through many hardships to enter the kingdom of God." Acts 14:22

Life can be tough most of the times. Sometimes all you can do is accept all of the challenges without even knowing how to face them. When life throws you lemons, make lemonade as the cliche goes by. Make the most out of those challenges. There are times wherein I don’t know what to do, I almost came to the point wherein I asked Him why are we having this kind of problem? Why can’t everything be just okay? Plain and simple? I realized that life without circumstances is just so boring. Challenges just adds up to our life’s adventure. Just like a french fries that’s needed to be poured with salt for it to taste good.

As I surrendered myself to Him, I finally know how to calm when there’s struggles. When I remember the three verses above, I know that it’s God himself talking to me that just keep calm and that he’s on hold of everything. When in doubt, pray. When confused, pray. Now I know that everything is part of His plans. We just have to trust and have faith in Him.

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